Tamar

KNOWN AS THE WIDOWED DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
Genesis 38:6-30; 1 Chronicles 2:4

IMAGINE: Being widowed and left childless twice only to be rejected by your dead husband’s family and now you must devise a plan of your own to obtain what rightfully belongs to you.

Judah got a wife for Er, his
firstborn, and her name was Tamar.
Genesis 38:6

Judah is the fourth son of Jacob and Leah. He marries the daughter of Shua, a Canaanite and they have three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah. Tamar is given in marriage to Judah’s oldest son Er who is soon killed by God because he “was wicked in the sight of the Lord.” (Gen. 38:7). Rabbinic history claims he kept his wife from becoming pregnant and thus ruining her beauty.
 According to the custom of the day was what was called a “Levirate marriage.” The brother of a deceased man was obligated to marry his brother’s widow and the widow was obliged to marry her deceased husband’s brother. In this way the family would have an heir so as to keep their portion of land and perpetuate the family line. This would keep this clan from extinction.
Tamar now becomes the wife of her late husband’s brother, Onan. Onan refuses to father children by Tamar for his brother’s heritage so consequently God kills him also. Had a child been fathered by Onan, the offspring would now carry Er’s name, and not possess Onan’s identity. Thus, when their father died the child would inherit the dead brother’s portion of the estate. Having a child by her brother-in-law would also assure Tamar a place within the family ancestry.
Tamar had married into the family of Judah, was left widowed twice, and had not become pregnant by either husband. To not bear children for you husband meant disgrace, as people believed being childless was punishment from God.
Judah had a third son named Shelah, but Tamar was told he was too young to marry. Following the instructions of her father-in-law she returns to her own father’s house to live until this third son is old enough to take her for his wife. Tamar waits “a long time” for Judah to give his third son to her in marriage so she may obtain a child for herself and an heir for her dead husband’s inheritance. She is only after what is rightfully hers.
However, when Shelah becomes of age to marry, Judah did not live up to his promise to Tamar leaving her a childless, unmarried widow. This was a somewhat cruel and an unnecessary arrangement that Judah made with her.
According to the law of the land Judah, with a third son too young to marry, could have performed the Levirate marriage obligation himself. He would, in this case, have been surrogate for his dead son. Since he was married he appears to have opted out of this arrangement and thus was responsible to set Tamar free declaring her a “widow”, free to marry again. After “a long time” Tamar now realizes she must take matters into her own hands to secure her future.

Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law
is going up to Timnah to shear his
sheep.” So she took off her widow’s
clothes, veiled her face, covered
herself, and sat at the entrance to
Enaim, which is on the way to
Timnah. For she saw that, though
Shelah had grown up, she had
not been given to him as a wife.
Genesis 38:13, 14

Tamar’s time clock for children may have been ticking away by now as Scripture mentions “a long time” had passed since Judah had sent her to her father’s house. Tamar positions herself in the roadway at the entrance to Enaim. She is out of her widow’s attire and her face veiled so as not to be recognized. She is aware this is the route Judah will take for the sheep shearing festival.
His wife has since died and he sees a woman sitting by the roadway and unaware this is his daughter-in-law, propositions her. She takes him up on his offer and secures his seal with cord and staff in pledge for the goat he has offered her for her services.
When Judah sends his friend Hirah with the goat to pay the woman and have his seal, cord and staff returned to him, she is nowhere to be found. The towns people inform him there has been no prostitute in this area. Judah calls off the search for the woman so as not to become a laughing stock and allows her to keep the seal, cord and staff.
About three months later Judah is given a message that his daughter-in-law, Tamar is pregnant. Feeling the family honor has been tarnished he orders Tamar to be burned to death. Tamar sends the seal, cord and staff, by messenger, to her father-in-law as she is being brought out. She announces he is to see if he can recognize the items as they belong to the man who has caused her pregnancy.
Judah declares her “more in the right than I.” (Gen. 38:26). Tamar is declared innocent by her father-in-law as he had not freed her or performed the Levirate obligation. Oddly, he has now performed this obligation in spite of himself. He and Tamar are never together again since the pregnancy has taken place fulfilling an heir for her dead husband. Anything after that would be considered incestuous.
Tamar’s place in the family is now secure as she gives birth to twin sons, Perez and Zerah. (Gen. 38:29, 20; 1 Chron. 2:4). Tamar took action, even if in an unconventional manner, to obtain an heir for her dead husband’s inheritance. She risked her reputation and her very life to get what was rightfully hers.
As sordid as Tamar’s story sounds, she was actually the one in the right. Judah prevented her from remarrying, as widows were allowed to do, if there were no other family members to marry. This placed Tamar in a financial burden and declared her a social outcast. As mentioned previously, to die without an heir was considered a curse from God.
Tamar was not only the one who was in the right, but she was also the only one who maintained loyalty to Judah’s family. The risk was there that this family line could have died out. The line from whom the Messiah came. Once again God honors his Covenant with Abraham, through Tamar this time.
Her son, Perez’s descendants are quite impressive, including Zerubbabel, Boaz, King David, King Solomon and the King of Kings, Jesus Christ.
What we learn from Tamar is that even if those who are supposed to love and care for us do not, God does. Sometimes it may be confusing the route God takes to accomplish His will. This is meant to keep us focused on the unseen through faith instead of dependence on what is seen in the physical. God is all knowing and sees every hurt. He is all powerful and will fix the hurt in His perfect timing and in His perfect way whether it seems, to us, reasonable or not.  

Something to consider:
 Do not let today’s disappointments
cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.
 Unknown